There’s nothing wrong with wanting to rip your partner’s clothes off on a whim (it can definitely make for a hot relationship), but whether or not there’s a deeper love will determine the commitment level. Knowing the difference between love and lust will help you better understand just how romantically involved you envision being with your partner for the long term. And, what’s more, it’ll give you a good idea of just how to feel towards your partner, regarding his or her flaws and how they affect you.
As a certified health coach, I work with people on feeling satisfied in their relationships, no matter what that actually stands for. In few cases, people are just after passion, or rather an informal relationship that is more short-lived, hot, and obsessive. Think, You can’t keep your hands off each other when together. But, usually, there’s less of a relationship beyond the physical. Contrarily, a relationship built on love will have a more meaning, as there are an affection and understanding there. No matter what you’re currently looking for, both can be quite fulfilling; just the long-term outcome will differ. Here are 9 ways to tell the difference between love and lust in a relationship.
- You Have Meaningful Conversation
According to Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor and a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, over email with Bustle, if you’re finding a deeper level of communication, there’s probably a love there.
- You Have Fantasies About Them
“Love tends to be calmer and quieter. It takes also time to grow and feels much extra like an emotional and psychological bond than a chemical or physical one,” Kaiser adds.
- You’re Obsessive
- You Feel Grounded Around Them
“Love is deep grounded feeling. Love is layered. You take the whole package when you love someone
- You’re Doing More “Couple” Things
“By the time love happens, pairs are usually exciting in together, buying a house, moving up the career ladder, and thinking of kids. So they have a lot more stress happening in their life, which helps to kill lust,”
- You’re Focused On Getting What You Want
Think about where your mind is and it’ll help decide whether you’re feeling love or lust.
- You Don’t Feel Safe To Open Up
If you examine any of these variations jumping up in your relationship, you’ll surely get a few signals to know the difference. If it’s aligned with what you want, that’s great. If not, it’s time to re-evaluate.